Moved!...and other miscellany

Alright, so I have just recently moved. I moved from a four bedroom house in Clinton where I've lived for the past 15 months with three or four other guys (depending on the month) to a two bedroom condo on the east bench of Ogden with my good friend Micah Krishnan. The view is amazing. We have an unfettered view of the mountains right out our sliding glass door. And we're only separated from those mountains by a park and a golf course. It also located at the head of a bunch of trails, including a three-mile exercise trail that goes up the mountain a little ways and circles the golf course (I got a great picture of the sunset on my phone from there Saturday). However, there is a drawback - I don't have internet access at my house. Right now I'm at the coffee shop down the street paying two much for a drink I wasn't exactly in the mood for in order to get internet access. But I think this will actually be a very good thing for me. It's kind of a forced internet fast, and I definitely needed it. I used to get home and check the internet first thing and waste a bunch of time doing absolutely nothing and checking to see if anybody sent me e-mail, which doesn't happen :) So, overall, I think this is going to be really good for me. It will definitely free up more time for naps :) I took a two hour one earlier today. I guess I was tired.

I'm sorry I haven't written for so long. I don't like to go to long without an update because then I forget what's happened and I don't have anything to write about. However, today is not that day. I do have something to write about. Seeing that the summer is about over I'm going to give my summer a report card.

Fun: B
So far I've had a pretty fun summer. I got to go to a conference with my youth group, I've seen some decent movies, Kellen and Jen came down for a week, during the first month I picked up paintball and played some basketball, and I moved to a pretty cool place and have already had people over and I really enjoy my roommate.

Friends: A
I have reestablished my friendship with Jeremy Bair over the last few months. He has been one of my best friends over the last five or six years, but over the last couple we kind of drifted apart thanks mainly to different circumstances. But he hurt his knee and hasn't been able to work for the last few months, which has enabled us to hang out a lot. He is a great friend and really loves the Lord. I have grown so much over just the last few months because of his influence. We love going to Denny's on Saturday mornings and just hanging out there for a couple of hours just talking. I'm also going to be one of his groomsmen come October :) I also got to see my friend Matthew Emadi, whom I've known for about 12 years, while he was back from seminary for a week. I also got to meet his fiance, which was cool. I probably won't make their wedding :( since it will be in Kentucky.

Personal Growth: A-
I gave this an A- instead of an A or A+ simply because I have so much further to grow and there will be more times of growth like this (Lord willing Heb. 6:3). But, in recent memory I have never experienced a time of growth quite like this summer. God has been humbling me in a way that I so desperately needed. It started about half-way through June. I was having my monthly meeting/get-together with my friend Nino and he really challenged me on some things that were lacking in my life. One of the things that God has put on my heart that I don't think I've announced on this blog is the need for a church in downtown Ogden and I believe that God may be calling me to plant or at least help plant a church there. My plan was to really begin getting ready for that this summer. In my mind that meant getting my theology down and really growing and reading there, as well as developing a mission and vision statement, and then trying to get a core-group started and really intentionally plan to plant. God had the same basic plan of preparing me for that (or whatever it is that God really has planned for me) but it has looked so dramatically different than what I expected. It began with Nino. He challenged me on some areas of my life that were lacking and missing in my life. There was a "humble boldness" that lacked in my life. I needed a humility that resulted in an absolute abandoment to God's plan and purpose. I need to follow God wherever and whenever he calls. I need to say and do whatever God wants me to. I need to be a Jeremiah who is not dismayed by the people who don't listen to God's word but knows that God is for me and there is no one who can be against me. Nino let me borrow his copy of "The Pursuit of God" by Tozer and God granted me a lot of humility to hear Nino's and Tozer's words and begin to really see the pursuit of God as ultimately costing less than not pursuing him. If I had to describe my growth this summer in one phrase it would be: The cost of not pursuing God is far higher then the cost of not following him. On the one hand, I may not experience the loss of my life or any other kind of suffering. I won't have to take up my cross and die to myself. But, on the other hand, I would lose Christ and that loss is everything. My life is nothing if it is not spent completely on Jesus. There is not just a cost of following Jesus. There is an opposite cost of not following him. When we read "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." (Mark 8:34b-35 ESV) we see a dual cost. I had only really seen (or at least taken notice of) the cost of discipleship. Following Christ is a hard road and it will require loss. But I had never focused on the opposite cost. God has been smacking me upside the head with that reality this summer.

What I didn't know is that in order for me to be ready to plant a church I need to pursue Christ first at all costs. I learned this summer that I had made ministry my god. It is a good thing, but I believed it would satisfy me and give me purpose to be in the ministry that I believe God is calling me toward. Just like with a wife, to follow God's calling is a good thing, but if it takes the place of God, then it turns into a very bad thing in my depraved hands and I've perverted its purpose. God's calling isn't the summum bonum of my life. God is. And when calling takes that place, I'm an idolater. I've spent most of the last year being an idolater and it's time that stops, by the grace of God. I have by no means arrived there and I don't know if I ever will. There have been so many things that have caused much growth in me this summer and there have been a number of challenges along the way. Recently I've been convicted with my areas of lukewarmness and I've had to fight for my assurance along the way. It's a long road up a steep mountain to crucify yourself, but each day is just about carrying the cross and learning, by God's grace, to deny yourself and keep moving. One day, we will see fully the hope to which he has called us and we will rejoice in his glory like we never have before. This body of sin will be removed and we will be given a new body of glory. The corruptible will put on incorruptible and mortal will put on immortality. In that day we will never lose sight of Christ and our long hard journey will be complete. And our current troubles will be as nothing in the realization of our glory in Christ. And this life and these troubles and trials will be worth it. It is worth it. It is worth everything. Praying and walking with you through these trials. Christ in you, the hope of glory. He is our hope. We have no other hope but Jesus. False hopes will disappoint, but Christ will always satisfy and fulfill. Come Lord Jesus, come. We hope in you.