Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Submission long in coming

Today I finally submitted to the will of God in a certain area of my life. To set the scene, I found out that there was someone who had something against me, which was making this person feel incapable of fellowshiping with me. I found out about this almost two months ago. The Bible tells us that if we know that our brother has something against us then we must go to him and attempt to be reconciled. I disobeyed that for the better part of two months. The minute I knew about it, I knew that I should call this person, but I didn't want to because of the pain that I knew would ensue. Then I read a freshword from Piper that really convicted me on this. However, if you check the date on that article, you'll see it was written in early August and we are now at the end. So I still wasn't obeying God, despite my conscience. Over the last few days, I have been really seeking the will of God for my life, particularly my future. But to do the will of God in the future requires that we pursue the will of God in the present and I realized on my drive home from work that if I wanted to do the will of God, I needed to call this person today. I'm not saying that I believe that I will now all of a sudden know what God's will for my future is, but it removes a significant roadblock in that journey.

Unfortunately, I didn't actually talk to this person, but I did leave a message explaining why I was calling and told this person that I really desired a call back. I sincerely love this person and desire fellowship again, but my actions (or lack thereof) over the last couple months haven't shown it. I know that there will probably be a good deal of pain to come in the near future, but that is often the path that love must take. I know that no matter how much pain might come, God is with me and will never forsake me. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. May God humble me in this.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

My dilemma

I think I might be getting writer's block because I just don't know how to start a post anymore (assuming I ever knew how). Today was Kellen and Jen's second-to-last Sunday and I'm sure that everybody is getting tired of me writing about them, but you'll have to put up with a little bit more. We played a song that Kellen wrote today titled "Holy is He." It's a really good song. Very worshipful, very contemplative. To me, it reminded me a lot of "Facedown" by Matt Redman. The sermon was also very good today. It was about the supremacy of the Word of God over ourselves and how we should submit to everything that it says about our lives. If we truly love God and consider the Bible to be His inspired word, then we will desire to read it and submit to it. It was a very good message.

Speaking of submission, that's something that's really been on my mind the last 15 hours or so. It was spurred on by a conversation I had with Kellen last night around 11:30. God has really been pressing something onto my heart and I'm struggling with how to respond to it. I don't know if I'm not being submissive in this situation or if God hasn't revealed everything to me yet. It's a hard line to draw for me. When does my waiting become a lack of faith and disobedience? Am I being prudent and wise or am I really not willing to give it all up and follow Him? I don't really know how to answer it. I don't want to be like Gideon and constantly be asking God for a sign, but I also don't want to rush into something that I shouldn't. I only pray that this dilemma will drive me closer to God and into a deeper reliance on Him.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Catching up

Time really does fly. It's been a while since I've posted. Just want to say to all the people going back to school on Monday: Enjoy the year, glad I won't be joining you. Seriously, I think the best part of being graduated is seeing everyone else go back and knowing that you are done with that. I know it sounds cruel, but for those in college, you'll know what it's like soon enough.

I have been really busy over the last week. Or at least it's felt like it. Monday and Tuesday I helped people move. Monday it was some friends of mine, Luke and Andhrea Ray. In fact, if I can rustle up a couple of roommates, I might end up moving into the upstairs part of their house. They're living in the basement mother-in-law quarters. I guess if it's the Lord's will, He will provide some roommates for me. From my perspective it seems like a great situation potentially, but we'll see what God wants for me. Tuesday, I helped move most of my sister and brother-in-law's big furniture into his mom and stepdad's horse trailer and they took that back to Salmon with them. Seeing how empty their apartment is makes their move that much more of a reality. In only two weeks they'll be moving away. It doesn't seem real. It probably won't hit home until they actually move.

In the days that I haven't been moving people, I've spent a lot of time hanging out with a missionary that my church supports. His name is John Hayes and he is with Arabs for Christ. Right now he is doing the Lord's work in Lebanon and will be returning there Sept. 13. Hearing him talk it's hard to believe that he's only 21. He's done more in his life than I might do in the rest of mine. It has been really encouraging talking to him. In fact, I went out with him and another guy twice to pass out tracts and evangelize in a local park. It didn't seem to bear much fruit, but hopefully by God's grace we were able to plant some seeds that will be watered some day. Either way, I know that His word will not return void, even if that return isn't exactly what we were looking for.

That brings me to today. Early this afternoon, I went out with John and Nate and ended up talking to this guy that had set up this booth in the park and was offering free lessons in some Chinese cult meditation thing (I forget the name of the cult). We talked about a lot but one of the most serious things was when we asked him whom he served and submitted to. He basically said that he served many gods and when we asked him what their names were he told us that he would rather keep that to himself. And when we asked him what the main god was that he worshipped he gave us some weird name that I had never heard before. There were definitely some demonic forces at work in his life. It was very noticeable. We shared the gospel with him and his only response to the truth was that he honored our testimony and the conversation pretty much ended there. It was definitely a sobering encounter and one that made us turn to God in prayer for him soon after.

Today there was also a welcome home party for Ryan and Micah. Ryan returned from North Carolina where he has been working all summer and Micah got back from basic training. It was great to catch up with them. Although I won't have much time to hang out with Ryan because he was offered a great job with the company he was working for and will be going back to live in North Carolina. God definitely gave him a great opportunity to make some good money and complete his education at the same time. I'll definitely be going out to visit him some time when I have the time and money. But at least Micah is back for the next two or three years and I'll be able to hang out with him a bunch. They are both just great guys who really love the Lord and desire to glorify Him. It is really encouraging to talk to them and enjoy their fellowship again.

Anyway, this post is starting to get long. I'll try to update it a bit more frequently from now on. God bless and may you have a great Sunday.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Why am I still awake?

I have not gone to bed before 11:00 so far this week. So why am I writing this? I don't really know. This week has been crazy so far. Every night's been late (at least for me), I've been doing something every night that usually involves thinking and a lot of involvement, mentally and spiritually, and I've had some tough days at work. Today, at Kellen and Jen's place I just crashed. I felt like I had been through the spiritual and emotional gauntlet and was just melencholy (that's the only word that seems to fit). It's like you try to gear yourself up for something but lack all energy and desire. What a help the psalms are in times like these. By the grace of God, the Holy Spirit brought to mind Psalm 23 and 19 and the fact that it is God and His word that restores and revives our soul. I think that God brings these times into our lives so that we will understand a little bit more that we can't stand on our own, but we need to rely on God for everything. It's like we are a house that has one support under us: God. But we think that we need something else so we stack straw, hay, and twigs to help hold the weight of the house and steady it. God brings storms along to knock away these false hopes and supports and get us to trust the One and only support we need. God is our only pillar and we need to stop putting up false supports. God's grace is sufficient for us and in our weakness he is shown strong. I know that I need to humble myself, be weak, and give the glory and honor to the only strong and sufficient God.

He restores our souls for His name's sake. His word revives us. Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us, He will raise us up so that we may live before Him. Press on to know Him for He will come to us like the rain.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

My big news

As I mentioned in my last blog, I would tell you guys today or tomorrow my big news and a decision I came to. I'll start with the decision I came to.

As the header to my blog states, I desire to be a preaching pastor someday. I believe that God is calling me to apply to The Bethlehem Institute to further that desire and call to ministry. In case any of you don't know what TBI is, it is based out of Bethlehem Baptist Church, of which John Piper is the pastor for preaching. It has three tracks. The first is for young believers and is more basic, the second is an apprenticeship program for training biblical elders, and the third is for missionaries. Lord willing, I'll be applying for the second track. Why TBI and not a seminary? First, TBI doesn't rule out the possibility of seminary and if I was to go to seminary some of the credits might transfer over. Some universities even accept up to fifty semester credits even though TBI isn't accredited. Second, I like the idea of apprenticeship and working alongside the elders in ministry. If I am accepted, I will learn from them a number of practical things and how a church works along with all of the academic and spiritual pursuits. Plus, I don't think you can beat learning how to preach directly from John Piper. Lord willing, I am really looking forward to learning under a man that has been used by God for so much and has a tremendous spiritual gift. Anyway, that is the decision the Lord has led me to and we'll see where the Lord takes it.

Now for the news. God has really been working on me in the area of missions and it has become something that I am very passionate about. I believe that the American church desperately needs to have a missions mindset. We need to understand that the American dream we have been pursuing isn't the Christian reality. We are the richest nation in the history of the world and we barely give anything to missions. We are the rich man who lets everyone know how much we are giving even though it is a fraction of our wealth when we need to be the widow and give everything we have, even if it is only a few pennies. We are drowning in the sea of our own affluence and I think that a focus on missions will help us to see more clearly the glory of God and leave behind the riches of this world. Furthermore, if we are to be a church that focuses on the glory of God, then we must be a church that finds its joy in spreading that glory to the ends of the earth. This week I conveyed these thoughts to my pastor, Tom and Hugh, the elder in charge of the missions board. Hugh hasn't been able to be very active with the missions board recently and, unbeknownst to me, has been looking for someone with a similar passion to take it over. He asked me to pray about it and God is definitely leading me to do that. So today I became the official chair of the missions board. I'm hoping that the Lord will use me to develop a culture of missions at the body in West Point.

In addition to this, throughout this growing conviction another desire has begun to take root. That desire is, at some point in my life, to become a missionary to an unreached people. I don't know when or even if it will happen, but it certainly has been my desire recently. I think it would be awesome to be used by God in that way. To die in that service would certainly not be a vain death. But we'll see where God takes that as well.

Until next time, God bless.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Recent happenings

At the end of my last post I mentioned some big news about myself. This isn't the post where that is revealed. I hope to talk about it Sunday or Monday. But until then, here are some of the lesser things that have happened to me.

On Wednesday night Tim and Amy came over after the Bible study I do with Tim. And while I have a winstreak of 1 on Tim in virtual chess, my flesh and blood chess losing streak continued. I don't know how long it is, sufice it to say that I have never beaten him in a real game. Although I came really close this time.

Last night, the Christ Community Church softball season ended. We lost our playoff game by one run. That may not sound too bad, but we were up by as much as eight at one point. It was a good, fun season. Especially since it was my first time playing organized ball. I played okay for the most part and had a really good game last night. Two-for-two with two runs scored. Now Tim and I want to practice more before next season so we can do even better.

I did something yesterday that I swore I would never do. I actually bought a country cd. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it right now, but the Bible says that we should confess our sins to one another. First I must explain why. I traded a bunch of videogames in to Graywhale because it's been about six months or more since I've played a videogame. I ended up getting more store credit then I thought I would and they had a used Carrie Underwood cd there. Why her cd? I must admit that I like that song "Jesus, take the wheel" and she can actually sing, unlike some country singers I've heard. I haven't listened to it yet, so I'll give my report on it after I've had a chance to evaluate it. Wow! That was hard, but it had to be done.

Those are the highlight from the last few days minus my big news. The next time I post it will be about that and a decision I came to a couple of weeks ago. Until then, God bless.

Monday, August 07, 2006

I'm through passing the time

Okay, I can now reveal the news that was mentioned a little over a week ago. And no, nobody is pregnant. Jen and Kellen are moving to Salmon, Idaho to help out a small church up there by leading worship and doing other things. This may not seem to be huge news to anybody else, but it is to me. There are a couple of reasons why this is so big. The first is simply that it is going to be hard on me, my family, and my church to not have Kellen and Jen with us and so accessable. Kellen is easily my closest friend. In fact, I've never had a deeper friendship with anyone else before. This isn't to the detriment of any of my other friends, Kellen and I just have a unique bond. I know that through my relationship with Kellen I have grown closer to God. So it will be hard for me when they leave in September. And, not to leave Jen out, it will be hard to see her go as well. As a family we are all really close and have never spent an extended period of time away. My two sisters and I all went to the same local university and have never lived far apart. So it will be hard from that perspective. It's also been a long time since Jen and I have gone to the same church and I have treasured the last 5-6 months that we have had together at CCC. It will also be hard for my church. You can't really replace a worship leader like Kellen. God has just gifted him so much in that area. And that model of a godly wife that Jen presents will be missed as well. I don't think that we will truly grasp how much they meant to us as a church until they are gone.

And yet, despite the difficulties and the tears (my eyes well up just writing this), my heart rejoices with them. And this is the second reason why this is big news. Kellen and Jen are obviously doing what God has called them to do and are beginning a journey that will lead them even further down the path that God has prepared for them. This is an amazing step for them and is truly a missionary journey. Salmon has a population of about 3,500. But in that small population they have a number of churches (at least 10-12) and only two of them could be considered solid. There are a number of very liberal churches, perhaps even an occult presence, and of course a mormon presence. The church they are going to only has about 25 people so it will definitely be a missionary endevour. I am constantly reminded of Paul's statement "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." I am indeed sad that they will be leaving, but I rejoice to know that they are going to do the will of God and pursue what He has called them to.

There is also some big news in my life, but I will leave that for my next post. So as I end this post, I just ask that you would pray for my sister and brother-in-law. That they would find joy and peace in doing His will, that the hearts and minds of the people in Salmon would be open to the gospel of the glory of God in the face of Christ, and that they would never tire of doing the will of God and studying to show themselves approved.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Just passing the time

Some of you may have noticed that I have added some links on the side. I don't know html so I'm having a little bit of trouble with it, but I think I'll get Tim to help me out next Wednesday or something.

Anyway, right now I am at Weber State just trying to kill some time before my first playoff softball game, which is at 9:30. Yes, that is at night. I don't know why they have games so late, but whatever. I guess it's not for me to question why. So if this post is a little boring, I apoligize.

An interesting thing happened to me at work today. I came to the realization that I hadn't been witnessing as much at work as I was a couple of weeks ago. It concerned me, so, while at work, I prayed that in some way I would prove to be a faithful witness, whether by word or deed. A short time later, an older woman I know came up to me and we talked a little bit. And then she asked me if I would pray for her soul because she knew that the thoughts that she had toward her ex-husband were "evil" and worthy of hell (I don't know if she really meant the last part or if it was just an expression). I responded that we all deserve hell and that forgiveness is found in God. It was right around then that a coworker interrupted us and she went back to work. I don't know anything about her religious background and very little about her life so I don't know why she came to me and asked me this except that she knows who I am and what I believe. I started praying for her the minute she walked away. She may not have known what it meant to ask me to pray for her soul, but she asked for it and I will surely grant her her request and I would ask anyone who reads this to join with me in praying for her salvation and my witness to her.

The lab aide just told us that we have 15 minutes so I better get going.

God bless.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Something to pass the time

To be honest, there is something I would much rather post about, but I don't know when I'll be able to give anybody details due to the fact that it's not my news. So I'm trying to just pass the time between posts.

Since I just posted a meme (I'm with Micah, just what is a meme anyway?) on books I thought I would do one on movies. Maybe I'll copy Lauren sometime in the future and do one on music. Here it is (with blatant plagerism from both of their memes):

1. Best movie of all time: There are a lot of movies vying for this spot, but I think I'll go with Gladiator or maybe Last of the Mohicans (my sisters call this the "man training movie"). I love those movies.

2. Best action/war movie: Without naming the above movies, I would say Black Hawk Down. And the best part is that it is a fairly accurate portrayal of what happened.

3. Best comedy: I have to admit that I am a fan of stupid comedies (Happy Gilmore, Dumb and Dumber, etc.). But I think that the best would have to be The Goonies (not a stupid comedy by any stretch). Runner-up: Much Ado About Nothing

4. Best "chick-flick": Pride and Prejudice, without a doubt. I would say the 6-hour miniseries rather than the two-hour movie, but we're talking movies here, not miniseries.

5. One movie that you saw more than once in the theater: Pirates of the Carribean. I think I saw it at least three times.

6. One movie that you thought you would hate but ended up loving it: The Ringer. I know it sounds horrible, but it really was a funny movie and didn't make fun of the mentally handicapped like I thought it would.

7. Best movie quote: "Hello. My name is Enigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." - The Princess Bride (and for some reason, I don't think I got his name right, it has been a while since I watched it).

8. Movie you can watch over and over and not get bored: What's up Doc? If you haven't seen this '70s comedy with Ryan O'Neal and Barbara Streisand, then you haven't lived. I've been watching this movie since I was a kid and I still watch it and laugh at all the same spots. Absolutely classic.

9. Movie that should be made: Yeah, I'm stealing this one and the next from Micah. A decent version of The Scarlet Pimpernel. I watched one version, and it was terrible. They need to do that book justice in the movie world.

10. Movie that never should have been made: This is an easy one. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. I did like Episode 2 and I loved Episode 3, but this movie made me want to run back to the original series. Let's face it, they just can't make them any better than the original trilogy.

11. Movie that made you cry: Okay, one more rip-off. Hotel Rwanda. I didn't cry until the very end when all the emotional tension that's built up is just released when they find the wife's nieces at the end. Tears of joy and grief just start streaming. Just embrace it, because you can't fight it.

12. Best movie not on this list: The Indiana Jones Trilogy. You gotta love those movies.

Bonus Question
Best miniseries of all time: I had to throw this one in. It's a tie between Pride and Prejudice and Band of Brothers. I love both of those and could watch them over and over.

Anyway, that's my meme. I won't tag anybody because it just doesn't seem right to tag someone with a meme I came up with. I don't know why, I guess it's just me. But if anyone would like to do it for fun, then feel free to copy it.

I'll let everyone know if I change my mind on any answers. I'll also be spilling the beans here on the first topic after they've been spilled in the real world.

I've been tagged

1. One book that changed your life: The Bible, obviously (outside of that, Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper)
2. One book that you've read more than once: Non-fiction: Don't Waste Your Life Fiction: To Kill a Mockingbird
3. One book you'd want on a desert island: The Bible
4. One book that made you laugh: That's a hard one. I'll have to go back to my childhood for that (as if I ever left). I would say James and the Giant Peach.
5. One book that made you cry: Do I have to name just one? There have been quite a few. It's kind of a three-way tie between Lil' Britches, Where the Red Fern Grows, and The Yearling. The latter reminds me of a line from a Johnny Cash song: "You'll never read that book again because the ending's just too hard to take."
6. One book that you wish had been written: Lord of the Rings: The Continuing Story
7. One book that you wish had never been written: Oliver Twist. I know, I know, it's a classic and a lot of people love Dickens. But this book was just a constant downer and almost nothing good ever happened to him. I got three-quarters of the way through and put it down and have never picked it back up. I have never been that far in a book and not read the rest of it. The Scarlet Letter could also fit this catagory. It was boring, tedious, and slow, and I knew what was going to happen two chapters before it happened the whole way through.
9. One book you've been meaning to read: The City of God by Augustine and Calvin's Institutes.
10. Now tag five people: If you're reading my blog and you haven't been tagged yet, then consider this a tag. (I guess that means you, Tim)